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What are you missing in your relationship? Maybe it's simply a case of perspective.
Sometimes we miss the most precious parts of our relationship because we don’t take the time to zoom in and look for the beautiful things. The best qualities of our spouse, the wonderful parts of our marriage, our shared dreams and experiences. Unless we look for the things we love in our husband, wife, partner (and in life in general) we can easily become consumed by the things we don't like.
Did you know that the reason we are so much more focused on the negatives is because the brain is wired that way? It's purpose is to pay attention to bad over good. But not to punish us- instead to keep us safe. If we keep that in mind we can redirect our thoughts and focus on what is good- knowing the mind will naturally focus on upsets.
What would your marriage or love relationship be like if you didn't focus on the negatives and dumped the idea that the grass is greener elsewhere? But instead just focused on the best in your partners and our lives? (I'm not referring to abusive relationships- or people who are completely self-centered. I'm talking about marriages that are growing apart.
Sometimes when we are in what Dr. John Gottman calls "negative sentiment override" everything is colored bleakly. Then it's easier to simply train your mind to observe beauty and the specialness in something that doesn't trigger the negative emotions, but instead, something more benign. So here's a photo to help you practice this concept of focusing on the beauty that's all around you.
Look at the photo. There's something very special about it but you won't se eit right away. You have to spend some time searching in order to see it. You have to decide in advance to intentionally and diligently look for something special. Isn’t that the same with relationships?
Can you see what’s special in this photo? Please comment on what you see. And if you don't see anything, please share that too so I can help you see it!